Music makes you lose control ... !!!

Yep, that's what they say... Music gives us something magnificent. It makes us feel free and happy... At least some music...
What I want to find in a song, is power, harmony, melody and the feeling... Ohh, it's just spectacular, what it can do to you.
It can make you cry, even if there arent any words, It can make you feel cheerful all day, even though it has simple words and they wouldn't make you feel different if you would read them from a book... And the harmony and melody relax you and make you wonder... And then there is the power... Even if it's not loud and screaming, there is just something... It makes you feel, that the world isn't only school, work, dirty streets and boredom, but there is also magic, wonders and the brighter side of life... Even if the song is sad, you can feel it...
There is a song, which is very powerful and also sad... Me and my sister often listened to it in the summer while we watched the sun go down... We didn't speak a lot, because it was just so magical... Unfortunately we only had her phone and it had a bad quality so it didn't give the full effect but it was still beautiful...
I know the song thanks to a very good friend of mine... Her name is Eva... She is an original and peculiar person with great ideas and personality... Sadly, I haven't been communicating with her a lot lately... We had a bit of a ... um...disagreement. We didn't speak to each other for some time... But just lately we went to a café and we're gonna be friends again in no time... I think she and my sister are the greatest friends I have had and I'm happy for that and it's a luck that I have them because there are so many people who I try to avoid...
Well, but everybody don't have to match with each other and like everyone... Okay, I have been over that at least a thousand times already... Jap... :)

So...here I go then...

I search faults in other people a lot... But why? Is it to make myself feel better when I know that the others make mistakes too? No, I don't think so... even if it is because of that, then I don't do it on purpose - maybe it's in my subconsciousness? Maybe ... unlikely.
I find faults in myselt too, but I have been thinking about them a lot and I found it unimportant so I haven't written about it...
But maybe I should.
One of my biggest flaws is that I jugde people before I get to know them. They say that first impression is right the most times... But I have been proven differently though I can't say that the saying is completely wrong... To be honest, it mostly is like that.. but then again... I haven't gotten to know the people properly so I can't say...
...
I whine so much... about my acquaintances and uncaring people who only think about themselves and annoy me... But what if I get so upset and disappointed about my thoughts.. make them too big a deal and turn up like the ones I have been talking about? No. I will never be like them! That's against my principles! Oh...
I have many other fail spots, but they appear in my behavior and life, not in my thoughts... so they can be changed more easily...
In my thoughts there are also more faults what I would not like to write...

Bored...

So... Today was extreamly boring. I went to school, everything was just like it had been, no big changes (none at all to be precise)... It was a sunny and cheery but there was nothing to keep me on the ground so I sank low into my thoughts. My friends, who I wanted to get away from said it's not cool to be an emo-kid. I don't like when they call me like that and they know it but still they do it. Did they really think that saying that would bring me back? Don't know... Maybe. I just wanted to get away from them quickly. Not because I was angry or sad or anything, I just had to think about some things. Things that matter to me...
I have been wandering about a lot of people lately and I've noticed that I don't like most of them. I don't have anything against them but I don't want to get close. They seem so .. how to say it... plain and ignorant. I'm not speaking about everybody of course, but the ones that think that fame and popularity is more important than true and wise friends. Well... I didn't like them before either but I never noticed the dumbness. They don't know what they're missing.
My friends aren't like that. But still I often feel like I don't belong with them. They talk about celebrities and clothes and fashion - the things I don't really care abouyt. Of course I'd want to be fashionable and look nice, but why to talk about it? I don't mind it but I can't understand it either... Though I can't say that I don't have fun with them because that would be a lie. I like to be with them but certain combinitions don't match with me so I just keep away.
So... I've been critisizing people, but never have I spoken about my faults. So... I should do that...

Thinking...

Today I was just walking in the fresh air and reading ("The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho) and thinking... In the book, he was talking about faith. I closed the book and said to myself that I don't believe in faith... or do I? People often say that they don't belive, but that's not what they think. They want to look smart and in control of their lives, they say that everything is up to you and only you. But what if faith didn't interfere and we really were by ourselves... Anything wouldn't go like it goes now, maybe we would still live in caves. Don't know. It's up to you if you believe or not, but when you do, then it's easier to accept things and not to blame yourself.

Jap. You don't have to agree with me because I'm sure that you have great ideas and perspectives yourself.


Okay, catch you later :)

Here's the book.

YAAY!!! I got an award!!! :D

So...here it izzz :D


Thank you, Anett!!!
yaiichs... (don't know how to spell that :O)

I saw him again...

A guy... Have seen him three times in my life (today was the third time). He looks like he's about 30 or something... He has burning scars on his face and his left hand (at leas I think they're burning scars...) and he looks kind of... awkward... It's just... well, not today, but before.. (last year, I think). I looked at him and that was enough to make me smaile, even laugh. He seemed friendly and interesting and there was something... Can't just put my finger on it... Today hee looked sad... Don't know why... :(
They say that when you smile it makes people wonder what you are thinking abot... but why is that? Is it because they are used to see unhappy faces? When I saw his sad face I started looking around... None of the people in the bus were smiling...exept for me... :)
Well yeah....
Awkward posting, I know.... About someone, I've never even spoken to.
Yeah :).

Ooh, I forgot...

My inspiration for my last post was sheep :)

Trallallalllaaa...

Don't have anything to write actually... But I have to because here isn't enough text... -.-
Yeah... Gonna talk about weather now, hope you enjoy. It's cloudy.
New subject... um... ee... Yeah. Right. Here we go... khmm.
I'm hungry. Okay, not anymore (I just almost finished eating...yeah). Pudding...mm, yummy...
yeah
Pointless...Thoughtless... Mindless...
I have been thinking about so pointless things lately (meaning today and yesterday)... What's wrong with me ? Wtf?
ooh, nvm (or nm, for some).
Yeah...I'm gonna have to finish this posting...Kata and OMFG... Stop telling me what to do, I'm a strong independent woman (never mind that one...).
Anyways....well.
Kata's and Annette's bithday is in april... Mine too... Yeah.
We (meaning me and Arne and maybe someone else too) are going to give Annette a pig... and to Kata.. well, I don't know yet... a lot of things, I guess...
And to me... nothing... :'( - aahrrfg
Jap.
Skin deep, oo-oo-oo-o..skin deep...oo-oo-oo-o... etc.
YESS, finally, FINISHED!!! Now I can speak to my friends (the stupid things that talk to you and stuff, you know) again.... LALALALAAAAAA...
Muhahahahahaa... that was the thing u were waiting?! Poor kids...

In the train...

Yeap. We're in the train.. And that's kinda' it. Yeah. I have a new haircut... Kata cut it... Yeah. Trallallaa... I would love to say something smart right now but my head is empty. We overslep so I didn't make it to the dentist. Yess. Great success. But now they know how it feels when you wake up early in the morning just for nothing. Yeah. Anett looks awesome... I just had to say that because I just saw her and she looked awesome... Yeah. LALALALLALALALALAAAA..... Sheepdog...! Never mind! Okay, gonna go now, to school... -.-

Cya!

Yeah..

And we're finally at Anett's place... Yeah. We did a bit of studying and then me and Kaire started watching a movie ("Yellow Submarine"). Kata and Anett went to the other room but I don't know what they were doing there so I can't tell you... After a while Kaire followed and I stayed here... Yeah... Heartbeats, a lot of them, don't know why... Sometimes I just feel my heart beating in my ears, kind of awkward... So... Kind of bored... They're gonna cut my hair now...creepy...nvm (nm, if you like). So...I have to move now... I'll just go to the other room. Okay, I went on the bed... Yeah. Anett looks like a total model and Kata is taking pictures... Kaire is trying to talk to me... Weird... :O

Okay... I wish I had been smatr enough to take the book (Paulo Coelho's book...don't know how to ssay it in English...) then it would be bearable..ooh, here's a quitar...I'll play it a little :D

Okay, cya! 

The dumb...meaning me

Yeah, I am so smart... -.-